Category: Lifestyle

What do you wear when the weather gets cooler? After a fun summer of trends, I’m looking forward to kicking off the fall with classic staples. The first time I pull on straight-leg jeans or a tissue turtleneck, it feels like returning home after vacation.

On chilly days, I’m excited to wear an iconic rollneck to the park with the boys or to my next soup group. And if you want an everyday sweater recommendation, I’ve worn this workhorse on repeat for years — it’s effortlessly sexy on its own or layered over a chambray shirt.

For outdoor dinners or work meetings, this cocoon sweater-blazer is pretty and super cozy.

I’m also into playing around with denim — I love nothing more than denim on denim and covet this whole vibe: denim jacket, blue shirt, jeans and loafers. Plus, gold hoops and a red lip! #doneanddone

When it comes to chinos, the slouchier, the better. And wouldn’t these sneakers be perfect for long podcast walks?

What are your thoughts on this skirt? I love this for anyone who’s feeling flirty! I also adore slip skirts — my bff Gemma wears them on repeat and looks so cute every time.

Thoughts? What fall styles are you into? Here’s J.Crew’s lookbook, if you’d like some inspiration. (This dress and these boots are both great.)

Great news: Get up to 40% off wear-now styles & extra 30% off sale styles, use the code SHOPSALE. See the full sale here. Thank you!

(This post is sponsored by J.Crew, a brand we’ve loved and worn since high school. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Cup of Jo.)

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Before giving birth to my second child, I turned to Cup of Jo for advice on introducing the new baby and helping siblings get along. The ideas and stories in the comments section were so heartening. Here are 12 of my favorite reader comments on siblings (and then I called my sister just to tell her I missed her — we both cried!)…

On birth order:

“I’m Asian American, and as the first child, I was definitely tasked with being mom #2. My sense of responsibility gave my younger brother another person to turn to and guided me in my teen years — I never wanted my brother to see me doing anything that I wouldn’t feel comfortable explaining to him. Some people worry about putting too much responsibility on the older sibling, but I can’t imagine it any other way.” — J.

“We have a tongue-in-cheek saying in Norway about middle children — dritten i midten — which literally translates to ‘the shit in the middle.’” — Hilde

On multiples:

“I’m a quadruplet (four girls!) and the birth order theory still holds true. I was born first (by two minutes), but I’m definitely the ‘oldest.’ Most people think our ‘youngest’ sister is a few years younger.” — Katelin

“I am the mother of girl/boy twins who are now seven. Twins are the best nurture vs. nature experiment, and we tell our twins they are siblings that just grew at the same time. They were SUCH different people from the moment they came out.” — Alicia

On being there for each other:

“When my sisters, brother, and I were teenagers, my brother often did the shopping (ANY opportunity to take the car, ha!). He would get so annoyed if we put ‘pads’ or ‘tampons’ on the shopping list without a name indicating who it was for — he knew what each of us used, but he could never tell our handwriting apart.” — Anny

On loss:

“I lost my brother 10 years ago. Sibling grief is not often discussed or understood, but Nick is forever in my thoughts, as well as the things that have happened over the past decade — god, I wish I could tell him. I got married, he’s an uncle! I miss him.” — Claire

“My brother is five years younger than I am. We haven’t always gotten along, but we loved each other deeply. Two years ago, we suddenly lost our dad, and I can’t imagine grieving without him. Plus, I see glimpses of my dad through him every day.” — Monica

“​​My only sibling died when he was 24. A year after his death, I found a birthday card where he wrote, ‘love, mike’ in his very messy chicken scratch. It was my first tattoo.” — Lindsey

On sibling rivalry:

“When we were growing up, my mom would make competitions where my brother and I were on the same team against her. For example, she’d challenge us to fold a pile of laundry faster than she could. That way we never competed against each other, only her! To this day, my brother is still my best friend and favorite teammate.” — Sophie

“When my three kids were young teens, I instituted a ‘siblings’ meal’ once in a while, where I dropped them off and picked them up, and they were not allowed phones, but they could pick whatever they wanted to eat, on mom’s dime. (They usually chose McDonald’s, lol.) They always came back gentler and nicer to each other, and since then when I sense they need some bonding time, I suggest/declare a ‘siblings’ meal’. I don’t pry too much when they get home, although I am dying to know what they talk about!” — Christine

“Fighting with your sibling teaches you that even when you love someone deeply and unconditionally, living with them day in and day out is hard. There will be stretches of harmonious Woodstock vibes; there may also be loooong stretches where the relational basal is mutual agitation. Siblings provide a master class in conflict resolution, compromise, forgiveness, tolerance, patience, self-advocacy, assertiveness, empathy, perspective-taking, and friendship. So, let the games begin, and let the learning ensue! — Ariadne

“I’m the firstborn of three, and I’m not sure my parents clocked when we were squabbling. When I resented one of my sisters, I’d sneak in her closet and spit in her shoes; she’d never know, but I sure would.” — Lauren

What would you add? Do you have siblings, or are you raising siblings?

P.S. More reader comments on childhood memories and parenting teens.

(Photo by MaaHoo Studio/Stocksy.)

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During the past 20 years in NYC, I’ve spotted a gazillion celebrities, and I rarely fan-girl out. But! The other day, I passed Cyrus Ferguson on the street and grabbed my friend’s arm. “That guy is hilarious on Instagram!” I told her. So, when he reached out about doing a home tour, I immediately said yes. Here’s a peek into the top-floor apartment of Cyrus and Brooke Brazer, his equally awesome spouse…

How did you two meet?
Brooke: “We lived in the same freshman dorm in college. We were a will-they-won’t-they couple.”
Cyrus: “It was all about fleeting glances across the room, or our elbows touching while watching a movie.”

Who made the first move?
Brooke: “Well, finally, on Valentine’s Day, I was like, ‘This is a silly corporate holiday,’ and he was like, ‘Totally.’ And then he leaves me a flash drive where he sang a song he had written for me and played three instruments!”
Cyrus: “I like the big romantic gesture. I love a story; I love a bit. So, I was like, Okay, when I asked her out, it has to be part of an elaborate treasure hunt or scene. And then she was like, ‘Can we just date?’ and I was like, ‘Oh! Yeah! Yes, please!’”

DINING AREA:

Table: Restoration Hardware. Chairs: GFURN, similar. Candlesticks: Ikea.

Where did you find the amazing green painting?
Brooke: “Cy made that!”
Cyrus: “I wanted a big piece of abstract art. I couldn’t afford one from a real artist, so I had an ongoing Craigslist search for ‘extra large canvas.’ Eventually, I found a Brooklyn painter who was selling giant canvases, and I walked one back across the bridge, and I had the idea to put acrylic paint in a spray bottle and just spray it.”
Brooke: “I came home one day and there were tarps everywhere, and the fan was full speed, and Cy was like, ‘Look what I’m doing!’ You could tell it brought him joy.”
Cyrus: “There’s one area that drips and kind of bothers me, but I’ve accepted that life is imperfect.”

KITCHEN:

Shelves: Ikea. Ceiling light: Etsy. Kettle: Target. French press: Le Creuset, similar. Tiffany lamp: vintage on Craiglist.

What a pretty blue!
Cyrus: “The apartment used to be ketchup and mustard colored, but our friend, who lived here before us, DIY-ed the blue kitchen cabinets. She had a vision! We wanted to infuse our own footprint, so we installed lights and fans.”

LIVING ROOM:

Sofa: Clad Home. Rug: Loloi. Upcycled pillows: Etsy. Monet pillow: Etsy. Throw: Etsy. Floor lamp: HK Living. Credenza: Organic Modernism, similar. Boucle chair: Lulu and Georgia. Candlesticks: Painted Swan. Modular desk: Beam.

What do you love most about the apartment?
Cyrus: “We lived here during a time when the outside world was chaotic and scary, so our home was a retreat. We love living in a city and always will, but at the same time, we want to feel like we’re in a countryside cottage. It’s gratifying when people come in and say, ‘Wow, I love how your apartment FEELS.’”
Brooke: “I came from having roommates, and this was our first time living together, so it was really fun to combine our styles.”

How would you describe your styles?
Brooke: “I like fuzzy bouclé textures, and Cy has an eye for vintage.”
Cyrus: “I grew up obsessed with eBay, Etsy, Craigslist, Facebook marketplace. I have my list of ongoing searches: ‘vintage nightstand,’ ‘9×12 vintage rug pink.’ Tiffany-style table lamp was one of my big searches for a long time, and we found that one!”

I’m always curious with house tours: what’s wonky about the place?
Cyrus: “The bathroom. When you’re on the third floor of an older Brooklyn brownstone, it takes a long time to flush. You have to hold the flusher down for like 10 seconds.”
Brooke: “Whenever we had people over, I didn’t know how to tell every single person. So, I handwrote a note: “Hello! I am an old toilet!’ etc. I also explained how to use the bidet. It ended with ‘Enjoy?’”

BEDROOM:

Linen bedding: Matteo. Velvet pillow: Etsy. Bed frame: The Inside. Fans: Lumens. Mirror: CB2. Floating shelf: CB2. Quilt: Etsy. Rug: Bashian. Wreath: Anthropologie. Hanging planter: Rooted. Tiffany lamp: vintage on Craigslist.

How did you choose the wall color?
Brooke: “We went with a white with a slight mauve undertone, since that has a more soothing effect, says some study.”
Cyrus: “We need as much of that as we can!”
Brooke: “We are all about the mental health around here. For the bedding, I liked the soft brown color.”
Cyrus: “I was skeptical, but in our design relationship, I tend to be the sourcer of ideas, and Brooke has the good gut instinct to say, yes, that’s the one. It worked out well.”

What’s your bedtime routine?
Cyrus: “We do indulge in end-of-day TikTok. We’ll watch 30 to 40 videos, which is kind of like watching an episode of TV because they’re all like one minute.”
Brooke: “My love language is sending TikTok clips to someone I love and watching them watch it. ‘Oh, I knew that would make you laugh!’”

Thank you so much, Cyrus and Brooke!

P.S. More house tours, including a cluttered-in-the-best-way Minnesota apartment (with a sweet dog) and a family’s dream home in Sacramento.

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My Instagram feed is filled with the most amazing things — dogs surfing in Hawaii, daredevils jumping off 200-foot cliffs, and get this…

…parents carving hearts out of cheese, making faces out of sandwiches, and color-coordinating the contents of bento boxes, all in the name of creating inspiring, wholesome, day-making lunchboxes for their kids. I have nothing against these parents – in fact many times I wished I was that parent — but the best kind of school lunch for my kids was one that I could assemble on the fly. Truth be told, most of the time that meant turkey and cheese sandwiches, but on the best days, I used to use this general formula to help keep me sane:

Something Crispy  + Something Fresh + Something Leftover = Lunch!

Here’s how that breaks down:

Something Fresh
Ideally, we’re talking low-maintenance produce here, things that need minimal prep: clementines, cherries, blueberries, raspberries, grapes, baby cucumbers, baby carrots, sugar snap peas, grape tomatoes, frozen shelled edamame (they’ll thaw by lunchtime), bananas. No parent should have to break out a melon baller before they are properly caffeinated.

Something Leftover or Pre-Made
In a perfect world this means whatever is leftover from dinner goes right from the stovetop to the PlanetBox for lunch the next day, but consider getting in the leftover frame of mind for other meals: Leftover pancakes and waffles can be frozen, then used as sandwich bread for nut butters, jam, or fresh fruit. A batch of hard-boiled eggs or simple omelets from the weekend can be an easy protein hit. Your kids’ favorite muffins can be made on the weekend, then deployed all week long in the lunch box. I used to save even the tiniest portion of leftover soups or beans or chicken because I found it all added up to something by the time I was faced with that bento box and a ticking clock. Gillian Fein, who runs LaLa Lunchbox, suggests having store-bought tortellini or ravioli at the ready, two easy foods that can be prepped in three minutes, drizzled with olive oil. The new book Lunchbox suggests store-bought gyozas, and the new children’s book — Lunch From Home — looks beautiful.

Something Crispy
Trail mix, potato chips, crispy snap peas, seven-grain crackers, rice crackers, beet crackers, plantain chips, wasabi peas, gherkins. And I don’t know how we would have survived all those lunch-packing years without pita chips and hummus.

What are your tips for easy lunch packing? Please share below…

P.S. A back-to-school breakfast idea, and home as a haven.

(Photo by Jimena Roquero/Stocksy.)

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We just got back from San Francisco, where we were visiting family. One evening, we went to dinner with my sister’s in-laws, and we had four wriggly kids at the table. It was all fine and good — we could have muscled through — but then I remembered a funny game for the table…

Have you ever played Grandma’s Suitcase? It’s a memory game, and you go around the table saying, “In my grandma’s suitcase, I packed…” and then list any object, along with all the objects people have already said.

Here’s an example:
Person #1 says, “In my grandma’s suitcase, I packed a toothbrush.”
Person #2 says, “In my grandma’s suitcase, I packed a toothbrush and chicken soup.”
Person #3 says, “In my grandma’s suitcase, I packed a toothbrush and chicken soup and the movie Home Alone.”
And on it goes!

When someone messes up the list or forgets an item, they’re out, and the game keeps going until only the winner is left.

The game is hilarious for all ages (Alex’s mom is a secret genius at it), and I always laugh at the weird stuff people put into the suitcase (Palm Springs the movie, Palm Springs the place, a later bedtime, Grandma herself).

Thoughts? What games do you play with all ages? Any other restaurant tips?

P.S. 9 tips for eating out with children, and my kids’ hilariously passive-aggressive notes.

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What are you up to? We are visiting my sister in California and jumping off sand dunes and eating fish tacos and having brotherly squabbles and all of the things! Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

Restaurant matchbook prints.

Britain’s coastal grandmothers react to becoming TikTok style icons. “I’ve got a basic wardrobe of all my favorite bits that I just chuck on… I don’t want to look frumpy, but I don’t want to look like mutton dressed as lamb either.”

Lulu and Georgia is offering a whopping 20% off, including furniture and rugs. I really like this vase, this artwork and these napkins.

Considering going gray? LOVED this woman’s 20-month photoblog of doing just that.

Three yummy dinners with mushrooms.

This dress has the prettiest back!

Why I decided not to marry my wife in a church: “All of my childhood fantasies about marriage involved a church. I was raised in a tongues-speaking, foot-stomping, choir-sanging, tambourine-playing Black church, where my grandparents — on both sides of my family — were pastors. I loved being a church girl… But my real wedding in 2021 was nothing like what I’d pictured.” (Elle)

6 ways to hang art like an interior designer.

How Sharon Horgan created a monstrous brother-in-law for her fantastic TV series Bad Sisters. (NYTimes)

“What my three-year-old has in his pocket.”

Go be weird.

Plus, three reader comments:

Says JAK on a living room fakeover: “A deceptively simple ‘fakeover’ is switching out kitchen tablecloths. Right now, I have a cheerful ’70s flower print; this fall, I’ll switch to a subtle stripe. One thing I’ve learned is, don’t save your tablecloths for special occasions — use them all the time. They are not meant to be stuck in a linen closet!”

Says Alison on a living room fakeover: “My grandmother rotated the framed pictures she had of her grandchildren according to the season. Snow pictures for winter, Easter pictures for spring, beach pictures for summer, and school pictures for fall. I always thought that was so fun as a child.”

Says Louisa on 9 readers share their favorite books: “The Overstory fans, you must listen to Richard Powers interviewed on Ezra Klein’s podcast. Life changing – really.”

(Photo of Anton from Cup of Jo’s Instagram.)

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Do you have a favorite book? It’s so hard to pick just one — as CoJ reader Ragon said, “choosing a favorite book is like choosing a favorite ice cream, it depends on what you’re in the mood for” — but we asked the Cup of Jo community to name names. Here, nine readers share their all-time winners…

Says Nazeefah (above): “The short story collection Unaccustomed Earth took my breath away. Jhumpa Lahiri is an expert at writing about family relationships: dads and daughters, mothers and sons, brothers and sisters. I’m jealous of everyone who gets to experience her breathtaking prose for the first time.”

“I just re-read this book, as I approach two years sober. While most ‘quit lit’ focuses on the detrimental effects of alcohol, The Sober Lush celebrates the joys of a sober life in and for itself. I gift this to anyone trying out sobriety, whether they’re just sober-curious or have hit rock-bottom, to reassure them that a life without alcohol can be one of abundance, indulgence and adventure.” — Elise

“With work, parenting and life, I find it easier to listen than sit down and read. My favorite audiobook is Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus. It’s funny, and the characters are so lovable — especially Elizabeth Zott, a scientist who becomes a cooking-show host. I can’t wait to see Brie Larson take on the role for the TV series.” — Allyson

“Totto-chan by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi tells the story of a Japanese girl going about her days and having funny, touching interactions with people. What I love most is a) how the story’s told from her perspective and b) how the adults interact with children. This one is a must-read for anyone who enjoys connecting with kids.” — Raras

“I’ve always loved being outside (hiking, running, lying in the grass), but The Overstory by Richard Powers affected how I think and feel about trees on a deep level. I usually give away books after I read them, but seeing this one on my shelf makes me smile.” — Merridy

“This summer, I learned I had a rapidly growing fibroid in my uterus; and long story short, at age 39, I had to have a hysterectomy. I didn’t realize how common this was until I went through it myself. For my recovery, we canceled all our August summer plans, and I decided to read East of Eden for the third time. My first read was in college, and I was terribly moved. I read it again after I had my first daughter, and it opened up for me even more. The book is an intergenerational story about two families, with themes of good and evil, free will, and love. John Steinbeck said he wanted readers to experience this book in a way that ‘perhaps after a little while [the reader] will not know whether [they] read it or whether it happened to [them].’ And this book accomplishes that.” — Christine

“I’ve read Anne of Green Gables (and its sequels) countless times. It still makes me cry and laugh out loud, and reading it feels like visiting a childhood friend. In fact, a friend and I bonded so much over our shared love of Anne that we started a podcast about it, and we can’t believe how much there is to talk about!” — Ragon

“The star of this Pulitzer-Prize-winning chronicle is an indomitable little girl, Dasani, who navigates the sort of racism, homelessness and poverty that our society should be ashamed to subject children to. Invisible Child reminds us that we have a moral imperative not to look away. It also reminds us of the power of family and the human spirit. I find myself thinking of Dasani and her family often.” — Christine

“I was an English major, and for so long I read only dark, symbolic literature with mostly sad endings. Then I went through a phase of life where things felt heavy — a global pandemic, my dad’s terminal illness — and I wasn’t looking to read books that worsened those feelings. CUE EMILY HENRY. I bought Beach Read on a whim, and it was everything I needed and more. Fun, sexy, witty, and SMART. (I’ve since loved Henry’s books People We Meet on Vacation and Book Lovers, as well.) I’m a forever fan of lighthearted reads that make people laugh and feel good!” — Julie

What is your favorite book, or a book you recently enjoyed? Please share below…

P.S. My top three books, the perfect evening activity, and a darkly funny book I always think about.

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